You don’t need a degree in clinical psychology to diagnose someone. How do I know this? I’ve been diagnosing my friends, family members, and potential…
BATON ROUGE, La. — Local woman Georgia Luenette was stunned to notice that, aside from the ‘Check Engine’ light flashing on her car, she had…
LOS ANGELES — Long-time fans of the seminal melodic hardcore punk band Bad Religion were surprised by the unexpected release of their 18th studio album,…
COLTS NECK, N.J. — 40-year-old Luke Childers grew increasingly despondent as his birthday party came to a close, realizing for the third decade in a…
Everything was chill. I sat with my Grandma, knocking back a five-year-old tin of Christmas popcorn and flipping through family albums. As I admired a…
PALM BEACH, Fla. – Sources within the Trump campaign reported that the former president and his team are seemingly overwhelmed with despair after pollsters found…
Behold! Football is upon us, which means it would be foolish of us not to provide an official power ranking of every NFL starting quarterback.…
It’s September, which basically means it’s Halloween and Alkaline Trio have long held the distinction of being the spookiest boys, who are actually grown men,…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Local Fangles Family Kitchen server and math rock fan Dave Morgan eagerly accommodated a request to split a check as a…
Words like “hope” and “optimism” have been going around a lot the last few weeks, but if you ask me, we’re just settling. Sure, it’s…
PHILADELPHIA — Local man Nathan Burke was traumatized by an onslaught of unattractive people in Fairmount Park after he took acid on a picnic blanket…
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Every Character From “The Matrix” Ranked by How Likely They Would Try to Get You to Invest in Crypto
The world of “The Matrix” is a confusing apocalyptic hellscape built on technology inhabited by weirdos in cringey sunglasses who listen to terrible techno music…